


Swear

by AutisticWriter



Series: Tumblr Prompt Fills [13]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Attempt at Humor, Established Relationship, F/F, Family, Family Fluff, Fluff, Kissing, Laughter, One Shot, Parent AU, Parenthood, Prompt Fill, Silly, Swearing, Video Cameras
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-20 09:38:17
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 775
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11333148
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AutisticWriter/pseuds/AutisticWriter
Summary: In which swearing has embarrassing but amusing consequences.





	Swear

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by this prompt:   
> A and B have a small child that is just learning how to talk. A is filming the child while they teach them words, and ask them to say “frog.” Child responds with, “fuck.” A repeatedly tries to get the child to say “frog,” while B is giggling in the background.  
> Bonus: B is responsible for teaching the child how to say “fuck”.

In her apartment, Zoe Heriot sat on the floor, facing her young son. She had a bunch of cue cards in her hand, and was holding a clunky Super 8 camera to her eye. In front of her, eleven month old Damien stared up at the camera, grinning.

“Come on, darling,” Zoe prompted, holding a card depicting a cow up in front of Damien. “What animal is it? What is it?”

But Damien simply giggled and tried to grab the camera.

“You’re wasting your time, Zoe,” said Isobel Watkins. Sat on the sofa behind Zoe, Isobel was fixing her camera (she dropped the bloody thing on her foot yesterday). “He doesn’t want to talk today. He’s being a right stubborn young man, aren’t you, Damien?”

As though he had just been complimented, Damien clapped his hands together and laughed. Zoe turned to look at Isobel, raising her eyebrows.

“He’s got that stubborn streak from you,” Zoe said, but she was smiling.

But Isobel had to hand it to her, because Zoe didn’t give up. She gradually worked her way through the whole set of animal cards, occasionally pointing out other things to Damien. But their son wasn’t going along with it.

Ever since he said his first word a fortnight ago, Damien had been talking a lot. Usually it was just ‘Mamma’ or ‘Mummy’ (his names for Zoe and Isobel respectively; for the record, he said ‘Mummy’ first), but he was quite talkative for a boy who could only say one word phrases.

But ever since Zoe got the camera out a couple of hours ago, Damien hadn’t said a word. Zoe was planning on filming Damien speaking to show the Doctor and Jamie when they next saw them, but Damien wasn’t making her plan easy. In fact, he was making her plan impossible.

“He’s so photogenic as well,” Zoe said. Indeed, Isobel had covered the walls of their apartment with photographs of Damien, who usually had no problem with being in front of a camera. “Why’s he playing up today?”

“Maybe he’s just not in the mood,” Isobel said, leaning forward and squeezing her girlfriend’s shoulder.

“I guess so...” Zoe said, sighing. “I’ll try one more card and then I’ll give up for today.”

As Damien made another grab for the camera, Zoe shuffled through the cards and picked one out.

“Here we are, Damien. Look at this. What animal is it? Look, it’s a frog! Come on, say frog.”

Damien grinned, and then looked straight at the camera as he said, “Fuck!”

Zoe just stared at him, stunned. Behind her, Isobel burst into hysterical laughter. Clearly pleased with himself, Damien started laughing too, clapping his hands.

“Fuck!” Damien said again.

“Damien, darling...” Zoe said, trying to fight back laughter as she switched the camera off. “Don’t say that. It’s a bad word.”

Slowly, Zoe turned to look at Isobel, a puzzled. “Where would he have learned that word? I don’t swear and they certainly don’t talk like that on the telly. So...” Zoe trailed off, and an understanding look crossed her face. “Isobel?”

“Yes?” Isobel said, her laughing fit dying down. She had a feeling where this was going; why did she have to be dating a genius?

“Have you by any chance been swearing around our son?”

Isobel grinned sheepishly. “Possibly.”

Zoe raised her eyebrows and frowned, but she didn’t look too annoyed.

“But it was an accident. Remember how I broke this?” she said, holding up her camera.

“You said you dropped it on your foot.”

“I did. And I damn well hurt. I swore at the top of my voice. I thought Damien was asleep, but I must have woken him up. I guess he remembered it.”

Zoe sighed and picked up Damien. Obviously excited by all the laughing and swearing, Damien was starting to nod off, his eyes half closed as Zoe held him in her arms.

“Yes, he obviously did,” Zoe said. She joined Isobel on the sofa, sitting so close their arms were touching. She let Damien snuggle against her chest, patting his back as he started to fall asleep.

“You’re not annoyed, are you?” Isobel asked, a bit concerned that Zoe might be angry with her.

“Not really,” Zoe said. “I’m pretty sure it’s happened to everyone. Just don’t make a habit of dropping cameras on your feet.”

“Trust me,” she said, grinning. “I’m not going to do that.”

“Well,” Zoe said, smiling as Damien fell asleep against her chest and she rested her head on Isobel’s shoulder. “At least that footage will make the Doctor laugh.”

Isobel gave her a kiss. “Yes it certainly will.”


End file.
